june.

June, I don't like this month. Not at all. Summer starts with it, and comes along all the other side effects of the hottest season of the year - I hate it. I mean, look at it now; all sticky, hot, suffocating. Depressive, in a different way.

That is, of course, unless you have some other reason to cope with it - or to ignore it. I had, this year.

It has been three months since I have reunited with Urnyras Jael, which, as we have spoken about it; feels both more and less than three months now. I have seen her one single day in April, waited for two months and saw her again on a hot (literally) night in May, at AŞTİ; the bus terminal in Turkish capital, Ankara. After a sighing hug, we took a cab and went back home.

I had finals about the time she arrived in Ankara, and thus she had to cope with some solitude at a point - I was studying, and at the times I wasn't, I was at school. It always felt refreshing and relieving to knock the door and see her smiling at me. Selfish as it may sound, but definitely supportive when it is your senior spring final term, ergo graduation finals. As she told me later on anyway, it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be for her, so no harm done.

I have completed my finals, and we started going out to Bestekâr Street, where I have spent my entire university life; and some other nearby places. It was mostly to hang out, we almost all the time had my close friends about. She met some of my closest friends and fortunately liked them. Well - that is important to me as it should be important to almost anyone, because if friends and relationship don't go well together, it is a bitch for the guy in between.

She had lived in Ankara for four years until 2006 and somehow came back there for various reasons after that; it is a city that she is, in any case, familiar with. Around the last days we've spent in Ankara, we had some sort of a crisis, some lack of enthusiasm even to move, and extreme boredom. With a fast presumption that this may have been caused by the city and/or the house we are in (because it is not the best decorated house *ahem*), we decided to move to Değirmendere, Kocaeli; my home town. At first she was rather anxious about going there (because my parents live there, eh) but eventually she agreed; still anxious however.

She left for her father's place for a week in İstanbul, when I left for Değirmendere; and she came to Değirmendere eventually on June 17th. If you put aside the lack of (ultimate) privacy, it was one of the best two weeks I've ever had. Not that we've had so much fun (objectively), but we were together, able to see and touch each other, and we had a nice balcony where wind always blew in. That was more than enough for me, and she seemed okay as well. We had these walks on the coast, took like three hundred photos; drank the cheapest wine we could find (5 Turkish Liras = 2,5 Euros) at the coast, then the other day drank a huge bottle of Jack Daniel's at the schoolyard, many other stuff. I do not know how it will sound, but even watching that stupid Canadian comedy show on Kanal D, watching Cribs or the Osbournes or the True Life on MTV, laughing at Justin Bieber and going "Baby, baby, baby uuu" or singing "Immabe" along with Black Eyed Peas was fun and remarkable for me, and it will be remembered even many years later.

We, of course, had arguments too. That time we spent together from May 23rd also brought the opportunity of inquiring our past bilaterally and digging into it, somehow finding unpleasantries for both of us. I am a person who had learned to surpress the disturbation I might have from the past occurings, but my fear was what if they somehow prolong themselves to the present day. That still is my fear, looking at some of the people she is surrounded with. Because that, by all means, is my limit.

There are things I will never understand about her, her life and her social relations with other people, and she has things that she will never understand about me, presumably because of the lives we've had up to that point. No wonder we have to live with them, at least up to that point where we can't take it anymore. None of them are beyond my tolerance, so we're all cool.

We have almost no common features, not even the music we listen to, we can easily start arguing about the flight companies at a cab, no problem. But we, at least, have a common meaning for the word "commitment", and we both know what consequences it may bring if acted otherwise. As lame as it may sound, we are both in love. We both believe in each other, we both trust each other. The rest, is just a proof of how colorful and strong our relationship is, and will be.

Then July came. You know, it is there to make what June brings even worse. It, indeed, made it more sticky, hot and unbearable; and I got into studio with my band for three days to record a 5-song demo we call "Flashlights Beneath the Dust" in İstanbul. She was there all along, other than the times she left to see her parents in Taksim. She was there with me, in the day, in the night, almost to the last moment of the last three days I've had in İstanbul.

At the second day of recordings, we took the boat from Karaköy to Kadıköy. Such a nice breeze we had up on the deck, she lied on my lap. That is one of the moments I will never forget.

1,5 months is not much. Not much for two people loving each other, even if they spend the entire time together 24/7. That is what happened for us, and I have re-met the person I dated four years ago as a 17 year-old teenager. I have seen her cry, I have seen her happy, I have seen her pissed (although I am sure I could see her much more pissed), I have seen her jealous, I have seen her bored, I have seen her enthusiastic, I have seen her almost in every natural emotion a person may have, as much as a person might see in 1,5 month. I could somehow predict her in several aspects, now I have seen how unpredictable she can be, alongside with that.

In any case, I know her better, she knows me better now. That's what I call a "relationship boost", for it is definitely not the amount of information you would trade in a month and a half. We knew each other more every day, after every night spent, and with that, our love only accelerated. So did the trust.

She is probably at the Atatürk Airport in Yeşilköy, İstanbul now; waiting for her flight for Paris. Most possibly bored already, and thinking about how bored she will get during the flight. I am sure she will get her iPod and listen to Lady Gaga's Alejandro, and I am sure she will read that blog entry sometime close and laugh while reading that paragraph.

Long story short, it was a perfect 1,5 month, at least for me.

When I look back, there is only one single motto I have in mind:

"More and more everyday."